Three months into the most intensive program I’ve ever committed myself to and sometimes I feel like I’m drowning.
Public relations is no joke – a fact I thought I had grasped before I moved to Toronto. I was sure this program was it. I’d found my place. There was no looking back.
Was that a foolish way to look at my impending situation? Was I only setting myself up for failure by expecting this program to be as easy as the four years I’d spent in university? It’s April 3 and I’m starting to wonder.
Like many people before me, I’d joined the school because their public relations program is revered as the best there is and getting accepted is such a huge honour. Your credentials, personality and skills are all examined by a real public relations professional. With admissions like that, accepting the calling is a must. People in your dream industry want you. How can you say no?
Really, I still don’t know. I’m here, aren’t I?
The skills I’ve learned in less than 90 days are ones I’ll be able to carry with me for a long time (or until I find a rich husband). The friends I’ve made are ones I’ll have for a long time. But is it worth it?
I’m the kind of person who always seems to find himself in an existential crisis when things get difficult. My immediate gut reaction is to question every decision I make, every action I take and every single word I say. It’s my modus operandi. Who am I without overthinking how much Splenda I should add to my coffee each morning? Would I even be me if I didn’t dust my floors at least once a day?
Toronto would be the biggest change. Raised in the suburbs, I didn’t realize how much of a shock I was in for until I’d finally arrived in Canada’s New York City. The buildings were taller, the people were faster and I was about to learn exactly what it meant to pull a Rachel Berry and chase your passion. Except this time, there was no appropriate song playing behind me while I explored my new surroundings, doe-eyed and filled with hope.
In a program and a city famous for pushing you to your limits, can you ever really get by without reverting back to your basic instinct of fight or flight? At some point, you have to choose to stand your ground and just finish the damn thing (whatever it may be) or run away with your tail between your legs and live the rest of your life wondering, “What if?”.
Here’s to trying.
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