I’m going to care less in 2017 and this is why

I'm going to care less in 2017 and this is why
When I hit Toronto soil approximately this time last year, I made a promise to myself that not only would this be the time that I succeeded, but that I would do whatever it takes to reach my goals. Much like Rocky, I would make this city my ultimate triumph. To do this, I decided that it would take a certain amount of sacrifice on my part. For the most part, Toronto isn’t a cheap city to live in. To do so would mean I’d be giving up a lot of regular pleasures I’d grown accustomed to, but it would all be worth it.

Fast forward to January 4, 2017 and as I sit here, actively and achingly thinking about the year to come – perhaps obsessing even – something needs to change. I pushed and pushed to the core of that lingering feeling in the pit of my stomach. I’d ask myself what it is in this life I lead – this incredibly privileged, fortunate life – needs to go. Then it hit me. I care too much.

I’d be willing to bet money on the fact that a lot of people are resolving to care a little less in 2017, especially given the shit we had to endure last year: Trump winning the American presidential election, more gun violence than should ever be allowed to happen, war, poverty, strife. Unfortunately, in the macro sense, there isn’t much I can do about that. If I had the decisive, unilateral power to remove a president from office with a swift signature to a piece of paper, baby, I’d be doing it right now. I’ve decided that it’s all about measuring expectations and taking them at face value. I can’t stop a fascist from taking the American presidency, I can’t stop war, and I alone can’t stop gun violence. What I can do, however, is change myself, so that when I need to stand up for something, I have the energy and the resolve to do just that.

The title of this blog post implies caring less (my “New Year’s Resolution”, if you will) and, in a roundabout way, I’m getting to my point. I promise.

See, when you move to a new city, dreams and suitcase in tow, a little part of you decides that the only way you’ll possibly succeed is if you make every single person you meet happy – it’s up to you to meet their expectations, as high as they may be, and perch yourself there, eagerly waiting for your next opportunity to show off and shine. I call bullshit. If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that nothing comes from you caring too much about one thing. Focusing all of your brain power and mental stamina into a single goal is tiring and I can already feel the burn out. Too bad for me, burning out doesn’t burn calories.

I’m aware of the idea that a calendar year is a social construct and that, in the eyes of some, just because the date flips over, doesn’t mean anything has really changed. I’m going to take this as a learning opportunity – a chance to grow and evolve in the best ways possible. I’ve spent too much time caring about what others want from me, what others expect from me, and how I can’t seem to reach goals fast enough. Maybe it’s time to sit back, change my mindset, and let things fall into place – hopefully as a natural consequence of letting the cards fall where they may.

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  • Rosemarie D’Amico

    Que sera sera. What will be, will be. Mindset is everything! xoxo

  • heidi williams

    I hear you! People often make you feel like you have to lower your own expectations and how messed up is that. It isn’t caring less so much as saving you own sanity and if there’s one thing I learned in life is you just gotta “keep it moving”